Whatchutalkinboutchris...?

I found the following list over the Reformation 21 website. Mel Duncan reviews Tolkien's new book The Children of Hurin and of course, like a true Tolkien fan, he included an appendix. The picture is my creation. Twisted! Ain't it? Enjoy.

Appendix A: Abridged Guide to Evangelicalism as Middle Earth
No Tolkien work ever gets published without a fascinating appendix. So why shouldn’t a review about Tolkien. For those of you who have been struggling to “contextualize” this review into postmodern applications the following is for you. Tolkien detested allegory of all kinds, so please keep in mind this is just a hyper technical, completely accurate application of Tolkien’s world to the modern evangelical scene.

PEOPLE & PLACES
High Elves (Puritans)
Numenor/High Peoples (Scotland/Presbyterians)
Middle Peoples (Baptists)
The Gray Havens (The Banner of Truth)
The Elves of Rivendell (Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals)
The Elves of Mirkwood (Sovereign Grace Ministries)
Lothlorien (Desiring God Ministries)
Rohan (Southern Baptist Convention)
Meduseld (The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary)
Beornings (Founders Movement)
Barrow Downs (Catacombs of Rome)
The Paths of the Dead (Paedobaptism)
The Green Dragon (challies.com)
Forest of Fangorn (reformation21)
Quickbeam (Justin Taylor)
Findegil (monergism.com)
Tom Bombadil (RC Sproul)
Farmer Maggot (Phil Johnson/Team Pyro)
Glorfindel (Derek Thomas)
Weathertop (Harvard)
Village of Bree (Redeemer Church Planting Network)
City of Dale (Grace Community Church)
Rhovanion (Nine Marks Ministries)
Arnor (New England Congregationalism)
Blue Mountains (Dutch Calvinism)
Gondor (Presbyterianism)
Osgiliath (Princeton)
Minas Tirith (Old School Presbyterianism)
Minas Morgul(New School Presbyterianism)
Ilithien (Northern Presbyterianism)
Henneth Annun (Tenth Presbyterian Church of Philadelphia)
Dol Amroth (Southern Presbyterianism)
Tirith Aear (First Presbyterian Church of Jackson)
The Dunedain (Twin Lakes Fellowship)
Lossarnach (Second Presbyterian Church of Greenville)
Anduin (Calvinism)
The Argonath (Westminster Standards)
Húrin (Machen)
Red Book of Westmarch (Textus Receptus)
Daeron (Erasmus)
UNHELPFUL
Radagast the Brown (NT Wright)
The Blue Wizards (National Associations of Evangelicals)
Ioreth of the House of Healing (Doug Wilson)
Mines of Moria (Carl McIntire)
Ted Sandyman (Rousas John Rushdooney)
EVENTS
Entmoot (Philadelphia Council on Reformed Theology)
Council of Elrond (Together for the Gospel)
Helm’s Deep (Battle for Inerrancy)
Pelennor Fields (Battle for Imputation)
Defense of Cair Andros (Battle for Complementarianism)
Battle of Bywater (Every committee that has ever dealt with issues of music in worship)
BAD
Saruman (Karl Barth)
Isengard (Higher Criticism in general)
Corsairs of Umbar (Emergent Church)
Southrons (Lakewood Church)
The Mumakil (Joel Osteen)
Haradrim (Eastern Orthodoxy)
REALLY BAD PEOPLE
The Nazgul (National Council of Churches)
The Mouth of Sauron (Pope Benedict)
Shelob (Joyce Meyer)
Lobelia Sackville-Baggins (Beth Moore)
Bill Ferny (Ergun Caner)
OTHER
Gollum (John Lennon)